Hails all ye kitties outhere! I have recently switched to a new abode after 13 years of blissful slothfulness in a small town, where I reigned supreme over somewhat vast apartments and two most loyal subjects.
I am now reduced to a somewhat smaller domain, which I (darn!) have to share with one most annoying human, who fails to show up at the prick of my thumbs, as my former subjects used to. I do have all commodities and feel satisfied with my recent research of the space at hand.
However, there are quite a few items I cannot find it in myself to accept. Nor do my princely paws feel they can refrain from certain habits we have been cherishing for so long. Notwithstanding, I have come up with a most useful strategy that shall guarantee me a safe and comfortable rule for the time that cometh. To present it, I shall use to some extent sketchy, yet clear language, that will guide you on the right path to catvival and beyond.
1. Keep annoying human subject happy by allowing to pet princely head and fur. However, do remember to make clear that cannot go on for ever and that certain rigorously defined petting intervals should be observed [scratch when petting interval expires to make subject take this important point in]
2. Refrain from trespassing when annoying human subject is around [Bathroom tub, human's pillow, and kitchen table are off limits when human is in, otherwise human shall prosecute any trespassing in most annoying ways].
3. Remember to carefully inspect any corner of the royal apartments and leave naughty reminders of who's in charge in the remotest, out-of-sight-out-of-mind places when annoying human is out.
[to be continued, as annoying human personality gets uncovered]