Joyce said: We cannot give ourselves, because we are our own. I think he was right. No matter how much we give of ourselves, we never give completely.
There's no exhaustive I in possession of anyone else. Not even in the hands of those we love most. There is always a part of you that you keep, unknowingly.
So then, maybe total love does not exist, because you cannot love anyone inasmuch as to give yourself fully to him, to make him an accomplice of your entire being. He will never know the whole of you, grasp the utmost meaning of your feelings, because ultimately, you cannot share and communicate yourself fully. Does that make all love selfish? Maybe.
When you give up for good someone you love, you never gain back the part of you that you have given. So, nature has it all covered. Had we managed to give ourselves completely, we would have lost ourselves for good to the other. And we never would have got ourselves back.
Now, what happens to the piece of the other one we get? The one that gives himself to us? We take it in, and in the end, we are a mixture of the ones we loved, they enrich us, make us stronger, more interesting, they round us off. So, in losing some, there's always winning some, at all times.
Later edit: Ana m-a trimis la aceasta piesa dupa ce a citit postul. Mi-a marturisit ca a fost primul lucru la care s-a gandit cand l-a citit.